I LOVE TRASH

Welcome to Monday, I am going to open this blogpost with a quote from a notice from my son's second grade teacher:

As the cold and allergy season approaches I don't remember if I shared the "tissue" procedure with you. Please send in a small baggie with tissues that your child can keep in their desk-in addition a small empty baggie for used tissues so we avoid the continual walk from the tissue box to their seat.

I wonder why she put the word "tissue" in quotes? Could the word tissue have other meanings?  I always thought of it as a fine, soft piece of paper also known as "Kleenex". However, in looking up the meaning, I see that "tissue" could be defined as bodily cells. Could she have issues with all those stuffy 7 year old bodies and noses. There could be chaos in the class as all those children run up at once to reach for the tissues at the same time! Noses running and dripping, hands and sleeves wiping. Maybe all of them should where latex gloves and masks. That could be in the next note home, I guess I'll wait and see!

In the meantime, my daughter changed her schedule today. Will all be OK in her new, inclusive classes? Or, will I be in need the "tissue." I don't have separate baggies, but I do have a trash can. Maybe, that is what my son's school needs, a trashcan!?

THE GOBLET OF FIRE DRILL

Practice, practice, practice those fire drills! I wonder if having fire drills really make a difference. I was at my daughter's school today at a meeting that was, of course, about my daughter and there was a fire drill. Those kids sauntered out very slowly. I wonder how many of them would have made it out if it had been a real fire? My daughter has been chosen by the Goblet of Fire. She will have to change her classes so she will be in full inclusion. Sort of, a kind of fire drill. Let's see what she can do now, in case we have to put out the fire later. I was so grateful for the teachers that asked for the meeting and advocated for my daughter to ratchet up her education moving towards that regents diploma. Sometimes, good can happen and good people can help a child succeed. So, now we will hold our breadth and hope no fire comes. Or, she wins the tournament with the help of some wizardly magic.

MOMMIE DEAREST?

A trip to the orthodontist, oh my. I'm told my daughter needs braces! I looked at the palette expander and practically fell down while putting on a brave face for my very excited and happy daughter as she moved herself up and down in the dental chair. With that xray, I'm sure your insurance will cover this said the dental assistant with only a first name placard. Will these braces make her feel just like one of the girls in junior high? Or, will the reality be much harder? Will it be painful? When I turn the palette expander, will I be hurting my child for the sake of a beautiful smile? If I could only ask Joan Crawford. What would Joan do?

DAISY, DAISY, GIVE ME YOUR ANSWER DO

HAL: I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.

We received a call from the evaluator for Assistive Technology for my daughter. Could it be that finally she will get some technology that will really help her? I am so excited, and worried at the same time. Will it be a Brave New World, or a Space Odyssey?

BLOG IN, BLOG OUT

The routine has set in. Each day, early to rise, yet late to bed. Not enough sleep. Studies say those older kids like my 7th grader need more sleep, yet her school starts at 7:30AM, more then 1 hour earlier then my 2nd grader. If she wants to join clubs or get extra help, that starts at 7:00AM. So, everyday, we wake before the sun has fully risen. We sleepily get ready, and drag ourselves through the day. I yearn for those late summer mornings, waking with the sun. Day in, Day out. Day in, Day out.....

THE BUNNY CHAIR

"What's up Doc?" It is on order of my son's 2nd grade teacher, that the bunny chair shall be used for time out. I hope that doesn't give my son a long lasting fear of bunnies?! He seems to be taking it all in stride. I, however, spent the weekend online wondering if time outs were still used in schools. I still remember that when my daughter was in Kindergarten, the guidance counselor gave a seminar for parents on discipline. All the parents were told we should not hit our kids, and then we were told we were not to give them time outs. Having a child that only recently had begun to speak, verbal reasoning seemed a far off dream for me, so I raised my hand and asked what we could do if we can't use time outs, he said he would tell us all the following week. Well, I never did get the answer, but I have had an uncomfortable feeling about time outs ever since.  My daughter is moving along well in school. At least, there have been no frightening calls requesting that I come pick her up. In fact, her teachers seem to like her. I wonder if that will last. We are going in to discuss moving her into harder classes. I've come to enjoy those easy classes, after all, less homework for my daughter, is less homework for me. But, at the speed she is going, a regents diploma may be a far off dream. Is it time to raise the bar?

WE'RE AS MAD AS HELL, AND NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE

Yes, it was a tremendous turnout at the open house at my son's school yesterday. I couldn't help but notice the difference between the turnout here in the suburbs and the turnout we used to have in the city. Here, the room was packed. In the city, open house was always so quiet. My son's second grade glass has 25 students and 1 teacher. That is a number I would have seen in the city. So, here, with my expensive taxes and involved families, the class size is still not much different then the city. So, why do so many of us think that the schools are better out here. I have yet to see any clear evidence that education, at least in my burb is superior to the city. We have good teachers, but we also have not so good teachers. We have good schools and bad schools. Perhaps because I have had to be involved much more than most parents to advocate for one child that has special needs, but I'm mad as hell! I wanted so much more from the burbs, and the burbs let me down. Perhaps my expectations were too high? Perhaps, all of us need to get used to a new reality of lower expectations. Perhaps the definition of happiness is having a lower expectation threshold. The weekend is coming, for now the sky is blue, can we all look forward to the happiness of low expectations to come.

OCB: OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE BLOGGING

I told myself I would blog everyday about my children's progress through school, that must make me an Obsessive Compulsive Blogger. I wish I had the energy to write about their day at school, but I just came back from another open school night and the boredom was just overwhelming. My son's teacher used a prepared powerpoint, where she read each slide, word for word. My ADD acted up, and I started to look out the window. I wonder if my son does that too. What a difference in the turnout of parents from the city to the burbs. The classroom was packed with eager, interested parents. Open school night in the city was always nearly empty. More on this tomorrow, weariness is overpowering my OCB.

HOMEWORK HELP

The homework has begun, and I already need a break. The whining, complaining and crying are fairly muted now, but it is just a preview of what is to come. I just don't know how other families manage homework. Homework instead of showers and resting. Long nights, less sleep. But now, along with my kids homework, I have my own version of homework blogging about each day they have at school.

I'm beginning to hear the grumbling of other parents in my son's class. So far, he is not complaining. But, he hasn't slept through the night since school began. Is it school or just coincidence? I do know that I am the first person he wakes up when he doesn't sleep, so I haven't slept through the night since school began.

My daughter is doing fine, but as in the past, we have to play a little detective work to find out about her homework. Long ago she learned to hide her homework. Good habits are hard to break.

MY SON IS NUMBER 1

It took me over a week to decipher the strange red slash I found next to my son's name on all the papers where he wrote his name. Could it be an unfinished checkmark or a line? I ignored it, but it kept showing up. It then dawned on me, it was the number 1. It turns out my son has been assigned a number and every time he writes his name on his homework or school work, he must write his number! I'm thankful he is not number 13, I wonder if there is a child that is number thirteen, or like floors in tall buildings, number thirteen has been skipped? I have started calling my child "number 1". They really do like their numbers out in the burbs. You get a number for sports, and now a number for school. Hopefully, this is not practice for getting a prison number. Prisoner 24601.

We went to open house for my daughter yesterday. We followed her 9 period schedule and dutifully went from classroom to classroom. My legs ached after walking the hallways. Open house is always a very scary time. Will everything go OK after the honeymoon is over? When will the phone calls begin? Will they begin? Last year, which was our first year in the suburbs, the phone calls began soon after the open house. So, we had a lovely honeymoon, but a very troubled marriage with the school.

OPEN HOUSE, CLOSED DOORS

It is 12:30 on a school day, and I just got a text message from my daughter saying hi, she must be very bored to want to text her mother! 12:30, it must be study hall. Back to school this rainy Monday morning. Two open houses this week. For my second grader, I'll get to sit in those extra small chairs with all the other parents of children that have been assigned the teacher with the mean reputation. I wonder if she will tell me, like she told me son's class that I can look forward to a sticker and a poem on my birthday. I can't wait! I always wanted a sticker and poem on my special day and my son can't wait either! It is the dream of every 7 year old boy to get a poem and sticker on his birthday! If we don't sing him Happy Birthday, we won't have to worry about copyright! Yeah for everybody!

Open house is an interesting term for someone with a child that has an IEP. Back when we lived in the city, only one year ago, many doors were shut for my daughter. I watched as some of the children that played with her went off to the Talented and Gifted programs (she didn't have the grades to get in). I watched as some of the children went off to charter schools (could or would not accommodate her). I watched as children went to the neighborhood school (at the time, they did not have to accommodate her). She was sent off on a bus. The culture of trying to get your child into a school by virtue of having high scores on tests is deeply ingrained in NYC and many other places. She may be smart, but she could never make the grade. She would never get into any of the specialized schools. So, we came to the suburbs. Are more doors open to her here? Still, kids get separated into those that can do and those that can't. The filter remains. She may share the same school with the "good" students, but she won't share the same class. As they move up in the grades, they will filter out too. The best students will have more opportunities, she will have to get by with study hall.

FRIDAY THE 13TH, FEAR OR FANTASY?

Is Friday the 13th a bad or good omen for the last day of the first week of school? Possibly it is just a classic horror film after all. Maybe horror films and schools have something in common. Both are scary. Some people love it, others just have to walk out. The end of the week, I am relieved to have a two day break. We met with my son's teacher today. It is possible that she is as scary as I have heard, and it is possible that she is not, but then I am one to walk out of horror movies. I know my limitations. There is no changing my son's class at this time, so we have to hope that perhaps the teacher is just a product, like some films, of bad critical reviews. I will say, it was quite frightening to have the principal say she was there to protect her teacher. From who? Me? Maybe I am the monster. Could I be in a horror movie?

FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL ENVY

So, I get a call from my daughter's school, not all is right with her schedule. Well, as I am sitting on hold, I thought wouldn't it just be better to go to the school? I was so stressed, not only did I forget to eat, but I left my car running the entire time I was at the school. That crazy Prius, you have to hit a button, there is no ignition key. Do you know how easy it is to just not hit the button?!

Now I need to make that agonizing chose of do I change my daughter's schedule, including her lunch, to get her more academic help, or leave it as is. I have first week of school envy. All those parents that just drop off the kids, give them a kiss and head off for the day. That never happens for me. I doubt it happens for any parent of a child with an IEP.

Meanwhile my son is fine, one little girl did tell me he was "wild". So, tonight we will read Where the Wild Things Are.

"The wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws but Max stepped into his private boat and waved good-bye and sailed back over a year and in and out of weeks and through a day and into the night of his very own room..."

THIRD DAY IS A CHARMER

Sunny skies, and all was quiet with my son at school today. No complaints from him, and no calls from the school. All and all, a pleasant day but not as pleasant as my daughter's day. Her third day in school with study hall, and she is really getting to like that free time. Should we ever be able to change it to something more productive, she is not going to be happy. I tried to change it quickly, but the longer she stays the happier she gets. I like doing nothing too.

A SECOND HELPING

Well, the second day of school has come and gone. My daughter still has study hall. My son had a case of writers block and starting crying. Ah, the wonders of public school. Will it get better, or are we just in for another helping of a not so great year.

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL, JUST A TEASER, OR A VIEW OF WHAT IS TO COME?

My daughter came out of school happy. Will junior high actually be good? Has anyone ever liked junior high?  She still has "study hall", but it is in a classroom of mostly high school students.

My son, however, did not have such a good day.
Me: "Did you like your first day of school"
Son "No"

Me "What do you think of your teacher?"
Son "A little demanding"

Sigh.

BUTTER IN THE BURBS

I can't believe it's not butter. Yes, but can you believe it is butter? Or that it will get better? Truth or artifice. Is life really better on Long Island? We have been here a year. One of the reasons for moving to Long Island is that it is well know to have wonderful schools. Well, after one year here, I am underwhelmed. With the taxes I am paying out here, I could have considered private school and stayed in the city! Nepotism and favoritism seems to embody the spirit of my small town. But, should I judge a whole school (or town) on one bad year of schooling? My son did fine but my daughter suffered. Her school was unprepared to deal with her special needs, ADHD and dyslexia. Like many schools, they felt they could teach her as long as she could just make her pesky ADHD and dyslexia go away. If she fits in, they will teach. Not every teacher felt this way, but enough to make the school year just tons of fun with all those happy CSE meetings, behavior plans and phone calls from school.

Now a new school year has started and my son has been placed in the class where I am told he has the "mean teacher." My daughter is starting the new year very behind in her work, yet she was given a study hall! Visions of "The Breakfast Club" dance in my head, or was that detention?

I am going to keep a blog about the progress of my children throughout the school year. My little 2nd grader with the "mean teacher" and the 7th grader with the "special needs." So here we go! Let's hope the complaints don't begin on Day One. But, if you are thinking of moving out to Long Island for the schools, keep posted for my experience and the answer to the greatest of questions: Are the beaches really that good?

MY BLOG AND WELCOME TO IT

I must be quite a crank: writing tons of complaint letters, but rarely sending them. I think of just the right words to say to an organization, school, company or person that I perceive as having wronged me. Yet, my complaint rarely reaches the people in power. So, now I will have my blog. It will be a place where I can voice my frustration with the schooling of my children, the inadequacies of dealing with an automated world that never answers the phone, the absurdity of perusing a career in art that I am completely devoted to, but find hard to tolerate. I will post on dealing with having a child that has special needs and the special needs I have now that I have children. I will write about my very recent move from NYC to LI. Will this city girl adapt, or will I go running back, kicking a soccer ball the entire way? So enjoy and share. Maybe we can make the world a better place, one cranky person at a time...